Pornography can be dangerous as it encourages sexual fantasies that do not always correspond to reality. In addition, pornography often advocates unrealistic body standards which can cause body image issues and create a false sense of sexiness.
Psyching yourself up for sex can be done in a variety of ways. Try some of these tips to get turned on:
1. Watch Porn
Whether you know it or not, you’ve probably watched porn in the past. It’s a natural part of life. Just like aspiring concert violinists watch Itzhak Pearlman to learn the proper techniques, many men and women seek out pornography for sexual inspiration.
It can jump-start your own bedroom fantasies and teach you how to satisfy yourself in the ways you enjoy most. While it’s not healthy to masturbate exclusively from pornographic stimulation, it can be a good way to discover your sexual preferences and kinks.
However, if you’re addicted to porn, it can lead to an unhealthy relationship with your real-life partner. If you find your thoughts wandering to porn often, or you’re unable to concentrate on work or other hobbies, it could be a sign of an addiction. Also, if you’re constantly putting off the chores around the house or skipping out on social events to catch the latest porn, it might be time to take action. Watching porn can make you crave sex in the wrong places and at the wrong times, leading to unrealistic expectations for sex.
2. Read Erotica
One of the best ways to relax, lower your heart rate and boost your sex drive is to read erotica. There is a lot of stigma associated with this genre, but studies have shown that it can actually get you in the mood and increase your sexual satisfaction.
This is because unlike pornography, erotica has a story and romance to it as well. This can lead to arousal because it includes foreplay, sexual tension and a satisfying climax.
You can read erotica on your own, or you can involve your partner. Some people like to use it as a self-help tool, or just for fun while masturbating. Others like to read erotica out loud to their partners and even enact some of the steamy scenes.
Another benefit of reading erotica is that it can help you articulate your desires and sexual fantasies more clearly. This is important for a healthy relationship because it allows you to communicate what you want and needs. Plus, it can also help you explore your sexuality in a safe and responsible way.
3. Listen to Erotic Audio
One of the biggest draws to pornography is visual stimulation, but if that’s not your thing, you can still get turned on by listening to erotic audio. These short, sexy stories are read by narrators with seductive voices that can be arousing in and of themselves.
They can also be used as foreplay, both alone and with a partner, to prepare the body for pleasure. And because they are often less explicit than video porn, you can enjoy them in places where watching sex may not be appropriate.
Another benefit of erotic audio is that it’s often more “discreet” than pornography, making it easier to listen in public. It’s also an effective alternative to watching porn if you are concerned about the exploitation and objectification of people in the porn industry.
A woman from France who subscribes to Femtasy’s erotic audio tells Euronews Culture that she started listening to the content because it wasn’t as graphic as mainstream porn and because of reports about sexual exploitation in the industry. She says it helped her discover that she’s more turned on by sounds than images, which made her masturbation much more enjoyable and brought her closer to her partner.
5. Massage Your Partner
For many couples, massaging their partner is a big turn-on. It can be especially arousing when it’s done in the buff or erotic massage positions. Some couples even find arousal during oral massages or during the act of penetration. If this isn’t something your partner is used to, start slowly and gradually work up to more intense massages.
Don’t rely on porn alone to masturbate, as it can be unhealthy and unfulfilling. Instead, practice using your imagination and all of your physical senses. Start by touching your body or your partner’s body, excluding breasts, buttocks and genitals. Notice the temperatures, textures and pressure. You can also use a little imagination and start to picture how you’d like to have sex with your partner.
If you are reliant on porn and feel that it’s affecting your healthy relationship, seek therapy from an expert. There are a variety of types of counseling, including cognitive behavior therapy, acceptance and commitment therapy or psychodynamic therapy that can help you understand your relationship with porn and find a healthier balance.
